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Blast on Mpumalanga

(For those who died and affected by the xenophobic attacks in South Africa)

By Dalitso Baloyi

With one voice not origin
The stinking apartheid
We fought, sunrise to sunset
Sweating and bloodshed
For the glory of indigenes
In the towering land of Gold

Our sweat bred sweet
As in the mines we laboured
Courtesy of Teba and Wenela
Our plight undivided
With no strings, we toiled delightfully
For mother rainbow

Solidarity was our indaba
As brotherhood our slogan
Long cherished
But is this bloodshed, rape
A payback?

JOKES

Pa Wont Like It!

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Mpatso, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Mpatso answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Mpatso thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbour said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon."

The Champs

On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."
And it was good.
Later that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."
With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed it on the tee-shirt of Mabvuto Lungu.
God said, "Let it be called, ''The Big Bullets'' - Malawi's team."

Later that day, God said, "Even reprobates need a**holes."
So he made their fans.

Bad Drivers

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Chimwemwe, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Chipembere Highway!''
Chimwemwe says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"


Grass Eater

A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.
"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, please come to my house!"
"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."
"Bring them along!" the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."

The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"

Eighteen Double Vodkas

A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downed the first drink and shook his head, Yeah, my wife!"

 

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